Twice last year Chris, being just the wrong side of fifty, received very nice letters from the Association de Dépistage Organisé des Cancers en Creuse, at the orders of the Ministre de la Santé, inviting him to give himself up at the doctor’s so that fingers could be probed where no-one wants fingers probing to check on his colorectal health!

Needless to say, Chris didn’t feel terribly tempted by this and, although touched by the concern of the French government for the wellbeing of his intestinal tract, ignored the letters.

Well, the ADOCC are taking their duties very seriously. They’re not giving up. Chris obviously isn’t alone in his desire to have rubber gloves kept well away from the lower regions of his anatomy, so some dedicated individual has come up with the DIY colorectal kit. Its ultimate aim is to get three samples of you know what that can be sent by post for analysis to hopefully confirm the absence of blood. Here it is in all its glory.

Chris has to do three things.

1.       Fill in a questionnaire.

2.       Produce the samples and package and label them carefully – see the pictures below, I think they’ll give you an inkling about what’s involved.

3.       Put the samples in the franked envelope – see, they’re that concerned, they’re springing for the cost of the stamp!

He’s still not feeling terribly motivated about the whole thing. Maybe it’s worth holding off a bit longer to see what or possibly who gets sent round next to ensure that ADOCC can cross his rectum off its list. (Yes, I really should take it more seriously. They’ll be coming for me in a couple of years’ time!)