World Naked Gardening Day and Eurovision are nearly upon us. Saturday 14 May is the date for both. Better get ready!

I had intended to do a timely book review to tie in with naked gardening day, as I have done with Eurovision in the form of my look at Simon Lipson’s A Song for Europe. However, when I was originally looking, I only came across one book that qualified. It was The Naked Gardener by L B Gschwandtner. I downloaded a sample onto my Kindle to read but it just wasn’t my type of book, so I wasn’t prepared to shell out for the full thing. It was too Anita Brooknerish. And the phrase ‘I’d rather gnaw off my own leg’ springs to mind when I think about reading novels by that author. Oh boy, talk about dreary.

I’ve since discovered another suitable book: The Naked Gardeners by Barbara and Ian Pollard. They spent ten years creating their dream garden, apparently, and always gardened in the nude. As the one review on says: ‘Destined to be a best seller for sure. But where do they keep their trowels?’ If I can get hold of a cheap copy somewhere, I’ll review it for next year!

So I’m just giving you a few tips for the impending eventful day.

Five ways to get ready for Naked Gardening Day:

  1. Ensure inhibition-banishing alcohol is to hand.
  2. Arrange to temporarily get rid of your children or any other relatives who are liable to not appreciate what’s going on.
  3. Plan gardening jobs that don’t involve sharp tools.
  4. Pray for warm weather and dig out the suncream.
  5. Charge up or hide the batteries for the camera, depending on how brazen you are!

And six for Eurovision:

1 and 2 as above.

  1. Print out the score cards.

  2. Buy in popcorn, crisps, treats to nibble while watching.

  3. Make sure your mobile is charged up so you can vote, vote, vote.

  4. Put on your dancing shoes!

Have a great gardening and musical day!