Eldest Son came home from Uni for a few days last week (it’s the winter holidays in our zone of France). I was slightly startled when one of his first questions to me was “What’s the best way to remove chest hair”? The alarm mainly came from the fact he seemed to think I might have had first-hand experience of this predicament! I haven’t so  I referred him to his father for possible advice but also observed that, in my opinion, men are meant to be hairy. Benj sadly informed me that French chicks didn’t think so. This was more information than a mother needs to know!

I rest my case as to whether men should have hairy chests or not!

Chris couldn’t offer much help either but suggested that shaving it off would probably only make it grow back tougher. It would call for a lot of shaving foam too.

Just in case this is a problem that vexes you for sport, aesthetic or French women related reasons, I’ve done some research. So listen up Benj. Shaving is an option, certainly. (I’ve also discovered that back shavers exist for men but sound remarkably like our sheep shears!) Waxing is another but you would have to be completely insane to go that route. I waxed my legs once and I’d rather go through childbirth than through that again. And everyone knows women have a much higher pain tolerance than men. Well, all women do, anyway! Waxing can also lead to skin infections so you should apply an antibacterial lotion for a few days afterwards. The following warning comes from the website For Men Only.  Ignore it at your peril: While waxing can easily be done in the genital area, it is painful, so you might want to try it on other parts of your body first so you know what you’re in for. Noted? Good.

Using a depilatory cream would be the easiest way. However, some people are sensitive to the chemicals in them and get sore skin afterwards, so the advice is to try them out on a small, non-sensitive area of your body first. There are creams specifically aimed at men with a suitably manly perfume.

There’s always laser treatment but that would be hugely expensive, a few thousand euros, and it’s pretty much irreversible. There might a small amount of regrowth. And apparently it’s not suitable for blond or white hair. Singe marks? Electrolysis is a further possibility but since this is done on a hair by hair basis, it could take a year or more of treatments to deal with an excessively hairy chest. And like laser treatment, it’s pricy, but it is definitely permanent.

So there we are. However, I must say in a country renowned for hairy-armpitted women, it seems pretty hypocritical that they take umbrage at male hirsuteness. Leave your hairs alone, lads.